When your spouse is affected by depression, or you yourself are struggling with this, this can take a toll on your marriage. This can seem unfair due to your spouse, or you, not asking or willing for this to happen, yet it can still occur. The problem is that with your spouse this isn't someone you talk to once in a blue moon. This is someone you are doing life with and who you rely upon to help with chores, to talk, and to provide companionship. So, if that person can't perform their duty due to depression it can be a heavy burden on their partner.
When you or your partner are feeling unmotivated or foggy to the point where you're leaving them feeling abandoned or left with the whole workload of the house, it can be overwhelming. It can take small chips at your marriage and over time can cut deep into the foundation. So, in this blog, we are going to talk about how depression can affect marriage and what can be done to help.
Depression Comes in Many Forms
Depression is often thought of as one state of emotion, yet there is a spectrum of depression from mild to chronic forms. You or your partner may be struggling with the blues or SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder), and even though this is not as intense as major depression, it can still cause challenges in the marriage. It can cause you to not be able to get out of bed, think clearly, or move about as quickly as you normally would. Even if this has only been going on for a few weeks, it can take a toll, especially in a 21st-century marriage.
When struggling with depression, everything can sometimes slow down. From your movement to your speech. If you're someone with a career, family, kids, and other duties, your partner is going to feel the brunt of it. Do your kids need something right now? You're not able to give it due to you moving slower and not feeling as motivated, and this can cause tension in the marriage. Does your partner need you to talk? You can't because of the fog in your brain. So, the problem goes unaddressed and can cause more problems down the road.
Severe Depression Affects More than Motivation
Now, if you or your partner are experiencing MDD (Major Depressive Disorder) or Bipolar Disorder, then this can be even more difficult for both of you. Severe depression affects motivation and certain functions, but it can also cause other issues that can be of concern such as a lack of interest in sex, loss of appetite, or suicidal thoughts. This can lead to the partner feeling helpless, scared, angry, and resentful.
However, the negative emotions don't help the partner struggling with depression. It can make them feel guilty, angry, and disheartened about the situation. Nor does it help your marriage. In this case, seeking support from a therapist can be beneficial for both parties. Even considering inpatient hospitalization and medication can be necessary to help your partner get the support they need. Also, it can help prevent negative emotions from festering and making matters worse.
What Can You Do To Help?
It can be difficult when there are issues in your marriage that are due to depression. It can cause a breakdown in the relationship. It can also come with resentment from the partner who has to take on more responsibility than they normally would. Some of the things you can do to help your partner are:
Show Understanding and Patience
Your partner is going through a difficult time and is needing support. You're their life partner, their best friend, and their biggest supporter. Show them understanding and patience as they navigate this journey. Listen to them as they talk, and provide a safe place for them to express their emotions.
Also, show them patience and understanding when they can't always respond as quickly or in the same way as you do. More than likely, they feel guilty for not being able to, and they'll need your reassurance that it's ok.
Encourage Your Partner To Seek Professional Help
Depression can be difficult to struggle through alone without a depression therapist or a psychologist. Depression is also contagious, and if your partner is still struggling after a few weeks, it can start to affect you and the rest of the family. Encourage your partner to seek professional help as soon as possible.
This way they will be able to gain the tools they need to cope with their depression and learn how it is affecting them along with your marriage. By going to therapy, your partner can get the support they need along with individualized care and coping mechanisms.
Offer Reassurances
Often, depression can make individuals feel isolated or that they are alone in their struggle. Let your partner know that they aren't alone. Let them know that you are there to support them and that you care about them deeply. Reassurances like this can help your partner feel more secure and safe in your marriage.
Giving them these small reassurances can help them feel validated and accepted. This can also help with the communication issues that may arise due to depression. It also shows them that you can and will still support them even when they are not at their best.
Go to Marriage Counseling Together
Marriage is one of the most interactive and communicative relationships that you're going to have in this life. The number and type of interactions you have in marriage are different than you would have with a friend, your mailman, or even a colleague. Depression can make it harder to communicate and cause the communication to break down, or even stop altogether.
However, Marriage Counseling in Brentwood, TN Can Be a Great Way to Help Both You and Your Partner.
It will help you with understanding depression, its effects on the marriage, and how to best work together as a team. Together, you and your partner will work with your marriage counselor in Brentwood, TN to improve your communication, set healthy boundaries, and reach goals for a stronger relationship. Your marriage counselor will also help you to understand that your partner is not your parent and that they are your life partner. They will work with you both to ensure that the partnership is on equal footing and that neither of you feels taken advantage of. This is the easiest way for resentment to build if there is no progress.
Depression's impact on marriage can be felt in many ways. That's why it is important to understand the issues and talk openly with your partner. Going to marriage counseling can help support you with understanding, patience, and reassurance. With the right help and support, you can get through this difficult time together as a stronger couple.
BEGIN WORKING WITH A MARRIAGE COUNSELOR IN BRENTWOOD, TN
Your marriage doesn't have to be chipped away by depression. By working to understand the issues, talking openly with your partner, and enlisting the help of a marriage counselor in Brentwood, TN, you can strengthen your bond and your relationship. At Vitus Counseling, I will work with you and your partner to create a personalized plan and provide you with the support, understanding, and patience that is needed. If you are ready to start your therapy journey you can follow these simple steps:
Contact me at stucook@vituscounseling.com or (615)-709-5779.
Set up a free consultation call and learn more about my approach to counseling.
Start supporting your partner and your marriage today!
ADDITIONAL COUNSELING SERVICES OFFERED AT VITUS COUNSELING
At Vitus Counseling, I offer a range of services to support you and your loved ones on your journey to emotional and mental well-being. I specialize in therapy for trauma or PTSD, as well as for anxiety and depression. Additionally, I provide addiction treatment for those seeking support for substance abuse. Vitus Counseling is located in Brentwood, TN outside of Nashville. However, I also offer online counseling to anyone living within the state of Tennessee, so I can offer you support even if you cannot make it to my clinic. I will support you and your spouse to protect and strengthen your marriage while managing depression.
